Showing strength in showing up

I have just logged on to finish a blog I had started writing last week...the blog was a long time coming, not because it was difficult to write but because work has been very busy and

I've also had some family health issues to deal with which knocked me sideways. Those 'nice to do' jobs (like my blog) were pushed way down my list of things to do. Anyway here I am logging on to complete the post I started only to find that it hadn't saved. That is very annoying. I remember I had been quite pleased with what I had written so far (although I can't remember one word of what I wrote!). So instead, here I am starting again...all I know is that I have two pictures that I want to share of a couple of lovely gifts that I was given by a couple of clients....but the words that I had created have long gone into my distant memory.

The first person who gave me a gift was a client who has decided to pause her therapy for financial reasons. I am going to call her Jasmine. She told me once that she did not like her own name, so I hope she likes the pseudonym I have created for her. Jasmine approached me for support regarding childhood trauma but the turning point was when she found herself involved in the criminal justice system and decided that now was the time to seek support. Jasmine's story involved multiple childhood traumas. There has been long standing research about the impact of 'Adverse Childhood Experiences' (ACE) on physical health, mental health, substance use, involvement in criminal justice, employment issues to name a few (see https://www.cdc.gov/aces/about/index.html if you want to know more). In my work both in the community and in my prison work I see how ACEs play out in real life. If someone is neglected, physically abused, sexually abused, bought up in an abusive household, having a family member attempt to commit suicide, living around substance misuse, having care givers with mental health problems, parental separation, or having family members in prison they have experienced an ACE (this is not an exhaustive list). Having just one of those ACEs can have a significant impact on the future if the individual has not had something/someone who has protected them from this impact - not necessarily protected them from the experience, but, for example, a family member who showed them love and support and was the shining star in the otherwise darkness of their life. Not everyone is that lucky. Jasmine has experienced a number of ACEs that had impacted on her mental health. She was scared people were going to abandon her or hurt her in some way because this is what she had known growing up. Through EMDR therapy (see https://www.louisecoughlinpsychology.com/therapy-offered) we were able to work through some of her traumas and in doing so we added in a 'resource figure', the protective figure that she did not have at the time. She called her resource figure 'Purple'. Purple is great, Purple can give her a hug when she needs it but can also kick ass when she needs it to. We all need a Purple.

Jasmine's gift to me was a nod to a technique I introduced in EMDR. Those of you of a certain age (I am 48 and this is a cartoon from my childhood) may remember Jamie and the Magic Torch (for those of you who don't YouTube is your friend). Jamie had a magic torch (bet you'd guessed that bit) and he and his dog (Wordsworth) would be able to go on magical adventures by Jamie shining his torch on his bedroom floor, opening up a helter-skelter that took them off to a fantasy world....Narnia would be equally as appealing. How many children do not wish they could be in another world? In EMDR I have use this idea for the person to remove themselves from a difficult situation by shining their own torch on the ground and going off on their own magical adventure. Jasmine really liked this and bought me a Jamie and The Magic Torch mug as a thank you gift....it get used a lot.

My other client, sticking to the plant theme, I will call Poppy (Poppy was also a resource figure of a former client who I know sometimes reads these blogs so I hope Poppy is still supporting you). Poppy had also experienced childhood trauma but had not considered the events as traumas. Often I find people do not consider their experiences as traumas because they are not the 'obvious' traumas (for more information about different traumas see https://www.louisecoughlinpsychology.com/post/my-clients-are-amazing). Lots of current events triggered Poppy and came to ahead with a hospital visit where she realised that things had to change...but what, she did not know. With Poppy we started with EMDR and processed some of her past memories. Poppy delved deep into her past to understand why events were effecting her now. She worked on her past traumas and was able to communicate what she learnt about herself to those who needed to know. She has shown amazing strength to battle some of her demons. Poppy became stronger. We also mixed in some ACT and CBT (see https://www.louisecoughlinpsychology.com/therapy-offered) to help her manage her current thoughts and feelings and to help her manage some of her OCD symptoms...Poppy hated eating without a knife and fork...she recently messaged to say she had eaten food from a buffet and although it was uncomfortable she was still alive to tell the tell. Well done Poppy.

Poppy's gift included a box of eggs (that is a long random story), but also this lovely coaster (upon which my Jamie and the Magic Torch mug sits). I love the sentiment of this coaster...if I can get my clients to a stage where they are feeling this way then I am happy.

I started this blog with the annoyance that my previous draft had not saved...does that still annoy me? Yes a bit. Does it matter? No not really. Reflecting on these two clients has made me less annoyed by the trivialities of a website not saving my work. Jasmine and Poppy, you have shown strength in coming to sessions week after week and delving into your traumas. I respect all my clients past and present for this. It is not easy, it is tiring, it is emotional, it is hardly a fun way to spend your time...but whether you have ended therapy, taken a pause, or been referred to someone else to continue your recovery, as I have said in a previous blog 'my clients are amazing'.