Lots of good things
Last month my blog made me sad to write. I reflected on my grief and it helped me process what had happened and life without my friend. I still feel sad, but this month I have been able to enjoy and embrace the good things. My friend would have liked that. I can't ignore that there are bad things happening, COVID - 19 cases are increasing, clients who I see face to face are worried that there will be another lock down, Yet again there is a week of news where it makes me question why the rule makers think they are above the rules...but these are a negatives and I am not going to reflect on the negatives.
To the positives...this month I found out that I was successful in my application to become an Accredited EMDR practitioner. For my clients they will not see a difference, I don't have a banner over my head saying I am accredited, nor do I get a shiny badge. However it means a lot to me. I had put off doing the application for ages, partly because I was busy and it was always at the bottom of that ever expanding to do list, but also because of my confidence in my own abilities. I speak a lot with my clients about their imposture syndrome. The truth is I can relate to this. Sometimes I tell clients this, but then of course I panic that they will now think I'm no good. However I recognise this and unhook from my own thoughts otherwise I would become ineffective at helping others. I also have a wonderful peer group who keep me grounded when I am having a wobble. Do I take comfort in their own wobbles? Of course because it shows me that I am not the only one and because I think they are all so amazing and question how they could doubt themselves then it helps me consider that I must be ok too. In these moments of self doubt as well as unhooking I also remember the people that I have worked with who have ended therapy because they are now where they want to be in their lives. I know I played a part in that and that makes me happy (sometimes re reading my testimonials also helps but maybe that is just about ego!).
Other good things this month is to reflect on the kindness of others. I received a bunch of flowers and a gorgeous Christmas candle from a colleague/friend as a thank you for various things I had helped her with (she had already bought be brunch as a thank you so I felt very blessed with these additional goodies). I love flowers but rarely think to buy them myself. They gave me great pleasure. Not to mention to perfect colour match with my kitchen. Then, just as the last petal fell I received another bunch from a client. A client who had experienced a sudden and traumatic bereavement but had managed to face her fears and visit the place where it happened (a holiday abroad) and enjoy the holiday in her partner's memory. I felt very emotional as she told me how the holiday went I was so happy that she was able to find the strength to do this. The flowers were absolutely gorgeous but what meant more was hearing her story and seeing her in a much better place than when we first met. I also received a painting from a client who painted some pictures of the sky which reflects an ACT exercise. Having had the painting framed I was allowed to put it up in the clinic and it looks fab, not only have lots of people commented on it but I can show it when I do that exercise. It was a very lovely and unexpected gift. People are so kind, we can all be kind to other people and I know I have said it before but remember to be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone you love.